A Pretty Poem Just For Me

Will you let me just sit here and look out through your window?

All I need from you right now are whispering words that glow.

Do you see the glare I see?

Do you see the snow?

Do you hear the sound of love?

Do you care to even know?

Will you let me sit here and wait for them to call my name?

It’s just a little gift you show

Me

The window

Hope

You

If Heaven were watching me, what might they see?

Well, I tried not to escalate an issue for work done wrong but I still had issues. I tried to be conflict pro-active. At least I apologized for the too high quote with a better company rather than a reduced quote that caused me a headache.

One thing for sure, I’m tired of Financial woes and I shouldn’t have to pay for work done not to satisfaction. But the bigger problem is, my home improvement project issue only escalated because I spoke up and questioned the work. I couldn’t resolve the threats on my own but I honestly tried.

Will Heaven see a pure heart? A greedy grumbling complainer? A uncollected conflict starter? A peacemaker? Which one will Heaven See when looking down upon me?

Knick Knack: Lady in front of me said, “I really should stop spending money.”

She proceeded to pick up some little knick knack added it to her stack and said the same thing again looking at me. I didn’t say anything back to her. I thought about telling her about my Mission 2020 and my blog site thinking maybe I could persuade her to put it back.

I was in line because I was selling my Knick Knacks back and was cashing out.

I think their are a lot of people with poor spending habits and it’s easy to get trapped by what others are buying. Yes, I was curious about this thing she knows she doesn’t need but added to her stack at the last minute. Do I need this little Knick Knack? What is it? I wanted to pick one up and check it out. Look at it and ponder it. I knew it would all be a trap and someone like me who is trying to stop spending needs to be on high alert around checkpoints.

Questions I quickly asked myself: Do you need it? Is this what you came for? Why? What’s the purpose? Why would you buy that?

My Childhood Ways Are Not Odd

When I was little, I recall learning to do without but also to just discover creative alternatives already on hand. I learned early on to make due with what you have. Here’s a list of the unusual ways I had to make due as a child growing up. What strikes me as odd is I no longer practice making due because those around me do not. Now the behavior is if we are out of something go out and buy it. It’s not even an option to think about an alternative. I’m the one who has had to go get the right thing needed but my upbringing taught me to find a creative alternative and make due. I never missed a beat living like that, in fact it was a way of life especially since I lived in the country. I have no memory of stepping foot in a grocery store until age 18 when I moved out. These might seem humorous or even odd to others but it seems quite normal for me.

  1. If you’re out of Kleenex use toilet paper. I never had a Kleenex box as a child.
  2. If you don’t have hot dog buns use hamburger buns. Seems quite obvious to me.
  3. Water is not Free so use it sparingly. Growing up I was not allowed to turn the water off and on while brushing my teeth only because I’m had a well growing up. My parents didn’t want to destroy the well. I had to however limit time showering and brushing my teeth to save water.
  4. Everything gets recycled. Everything! The paper was burned only when necessary because there was no garbage man.
  5. Make everything from clothes to toys to things to sell.
  6. Shopping happens at the flea market in Shipshewana.
  7. Make and save money doing creative things.
  8. One drawer per person and one little tiny closet space was all I needed.
  9. I must have learned to sleep on a straw bed even though I disliked it immensely. To this day I never sleep under the covers and I don’t like sheets at all.
  10. Gifts don’t have to be wrapped just put the gifts under the tree.
  11. You can’t just sit and watch something on TV but you can if you are making something else in the process so you are not wasting any time.
  12. There are two types of drinks that exist in this world and it is water and milk.
  13. What is a restaurant?
  14. Patterns were used to make clothes and you made your own.
  15. You don’t borrow things period but you make due or figure out a different way.
  16. Find a ride, ride your bike or walk. That is the way I traveled.
  17. If you are hungry wait until dinner but don’t talk at the table.
  18. Only walk on the plastic runway to protect the green carpet.
  19. Don’t put your feet on the furniture because it’s disrespectful. It drives me crazy when a young adult at Christmas puts her bare feet on the sofa sitting quite unladylike.
  20. Shampoo? What is that?

This is who I was as a child. I did not learn to be frugal because I was taught to make due, be resourceful and use your talents.

I have lived the past 30 years in a completely opposite manner. I can some it up like this, “I don’t get while we are always out of Kleenex. Who puts hot dogs on hamburger buns. Please let me watch TV for ten hours straight doing nothing. I don’t have time to go to the park or for a walk nor do I care to ride a bike. I just don’t get why you are so stupid with money. You’ll have to use the credit card because we are out of groceries again.”

To solve my problems I have had to adapt and plan ahead so as not to be out of things and here in lies my problem of money squandering. One more thing, wrap the gifts and buy a card.

If you don’t have wealth but live below the poverty line, can you learn how to be frugal?

When I grew up, we learned to do without. I learned to sacrifice those things I might have wanted. I didn’t ask for them nor did I complain about what I didn’t have, I learned to do without and that was very easy. Doing without was something you lived with. To learn frugality would not have happened because I didn’t have anything to be frugal with.

Ship Sails Forward Through Stormy Waters

At some point, this ship needs to get back in the water and start sailing on again. Pick up the anchor of financial woes and try again is about all I can do. The ship that Paul was on was eventually caught in a life threatening storm. Paul’s advice to the sea men were to not despair because not one soul will be lost.

My ship just happens to be in a storm but no souls are going to be lost anymore on my ship. It’s just going to accept the gift of fortitude as pray for the gift of Wisdom.