Money is not a mystery but why is it to me?

I finished my Riga 2019 trip. Since I ran into a little Berlin issue, I knew I had to contact my bank upon returning to America. The money revelation of my failures hit me again when the financial customer service man showed me the recent Visa spending history. The enormous end of previous months payment by my husband was so big it made my heart and soul sting. I’m disabled I can’t pay that bill so who will? For the past forever my husband has paid our visa bill while I continue to charge money. As my husband says; “Money that is not mine.”